"Whatever that means?"

Sunday, May 24, 2009
August 2007

After a few weeks in our new house, the fear and anxiety started to pass.  I started to feel a little more comfortable...but it still didn't feel like "home".  The Lord had truly given me a peace about this major change in my life.  I had gained a renewed passion for the Lord and His word!  What an amazing blessing!  During the 3 years prior, my heart was far from Him, and I rarely spent time in His word.  Growing up and the fear that comes along with that brought me to a new place in my walk with the Lord...for that I am SO thankful!  I had a true peace knowing that the Lord was in complete control and knowing that He would guide and protect me.

Brian and I had just celebrated our 3 year anniversary.  We didn't do anything "special" for our anniversary, but we did make a BIG decision! It was time for me to stop taking birth control pills.  I had started taking them a few months before our wedding (in 2004), so I had been on them for 3 years.  We were so thankful for the 3 years we spent without kids!  We had been able to do a lot of traveling and spend time getting to know each other better.  But now, it was time!  I knew that I wanted to be a mother since I was a little girl, so I was more than ready!  We didn't make a big deal about it, I just stopped taking my pill.  If anyone asked us, we would say, "Well, we aren't really trying, we are just not NOT trying."  I just read my journal entry from August 21, 2007, and it said, "We recently started trying to have a baby...whatever that means?"  I had no idea what lay ahead for us!  I just prayed for patience as we waited on the Lord's perfect timing.  I wish I had prayed more fervently in those days for patience!  I didn't realize how much I would need it in the coming months.


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