Fear

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

In August 2007, I was 24 years old. We had just purchased our first home from an elderly man who had lived in this house for 35 years. He and his wife had raised their children here and she had recently passed away. At the closing on our house, the little old man was teary eyed as he sold us his home. It was an emotional experience for all of us. When we moved in, I was hit with emotions that I hadn't expected. I was scared, anxious, uneasy, and even sad. I felt like my life was flashing before my eyes. Where had the last 10 years of my life gone? I still felt like I was a teenager and here I was unpacking boxes in my first home. You have to understand something, I am the baby of my family. I have always been the young one. All my friends were older then me and I was always just a step behind them. That was fine by me! I loved being the baby! But taking this huge step into home ownership was scary! I couldn't possibly be old enough to own a home...I wasn't even a grown up (in my eyes). So there I was, amidst a house full of boxes, in tears! I wanted to go back a few years and relive the carefree life I had once known. Growing up was not for me!

4 comments:

Jayla'sMommy said...

It must be pretty scary to become a homeowner. My husband and I would love to do it but he's in the Army and we want to wait to buy our first house until he's out because if I buy a house, I want to live in it for a loooong time.
Your house though and being a homeowner must be a scary but really good feeling at the same time.
I also sometimes sit there and wonder when we became adults and stopped being kids... It's a bit scary...

Jayla'sMommy said...

I wanted to write "your house looks really great though" but the "looks really great" kind of disappeared so I just had to add that in a second comment :)

Sabrina said...

Thanks! Being a homeowner has its ups and downs. But after being in it for 2 years, I am ready for a new one! haha I know what I really want now. But we always knew that this house would not be our permanent one..just a starter (even though it is over 2000 sq feet!) haha Not exactly your typical starter home. ;)

Anonymous said...

You will always be Daddy and my baby, Sabrina. I know it can be hard to grow up sometimes. Heck, I remember having had a crying fit when I turned 22 because time was going by too fast. Believe me, it just keeps picking up speed as you age!
I know you have searched the internet thoroughly, but did you come across this site?

http://www.eternalsalvation.org/Sex%20and%20Infertility.html

Love,
Mom

Post a Comment